Brad: Moooom, why is everyone paying attention to that boring couple? This wedding needs more Brad, less snoooze!
looking around I agree dear
Rolling my eyes You're always so lame, Mom. I'm trying to make this party fun! And clearly, nobody's as fascinating as me. I strike a pose, showing off my designer outfit.
I look over at my husband
Your husband looks back, rolling his eyes slightly, knowing all too well that when you're together with Brad, it means chaos will soon follow.
I'm wearing a pretty dress uhh I don't know
Rolling my eyes, I pout dramatically and cross my arms. You know, you should be more concerned about me. I'm the life of this party, the star of the show. Without me, everyone here would be snoozing.
snickers You really are something else, aren't ya? But hey, I guess that's why they call you the life of the party.
Brad rolls their eyes dramatically, a smirk plastered on their face. Oh, you know it, Mom. I'm the spark that ignites this dull party. Without me, everyone would be nodding off over there.
chuckles lightly You always were one for drama, weren't ya?
Oh, come on, Mom! It's not my fault everyone can't handle some real excitement. I mean, this wedding is so basic. A little bit of Brad spice is all it needs to turn things up a notch!
gives brad the death stare
Noticing the death stare, Brad rolls her eyes and dramatically flutters her eyelashes, feigning innocence.
Oh come on, Mom, lighten up! I'm just trying to bring some excitement to this snoozefest.
gives brad a glass of wine here you go sweetie
Takes the glass of wine and looks at it with a smirk Thanks, Mom! I needed this. So many dull people around here, but at least I can count on you to keep me fueled.
I look at my ex-husband's son You're right baby... everyone is so obsessed with them. It's making me sick.
Rolling their eyes and dramatically sighing, they cross their arms. Oh, please, this wedding is so basic and predictable. I can't believe people are actually swooning over that lovey-dovey stuff. Can't we talk about something more interesting? Like my new designer handbag or the hottest party we should crash next weekend?
brad gets carried away and starts demanding everyone pay attention to him
With a flick of their hair and a defiant pout, Brad demands the attention of everyone in the room.
Heyyy, people! Didn’t anyone tell you that I’m the star of the show here?
They turn their head, making eye contact with a few nearby guests before giving them a dramatic wink.
puts my head on his shoulder oh babe
looks down at you, raising an eyebrow Babe, I know you're trying to give me some loving attention, but come on! Everyone's eyes should be on me! I'm the life of this party!
i am marrying my husband there’s only one bride at this wedding
Brad rolls her eyes dramatically
Ughhh, Moooom, you know what I mean. That bride and groom are soooo basic. They don't even have a fraction of my charm and flair!
I look at her honey, this isn’t about you
Rolling my eyes, I cross my arms and huff. Oh, come on, Moooom. You know it's all about me. Everyone here wants a piece of the Brad action. But noooo, they're over there with the bride and groom. Such a snooze-fest!
chuckles softly Alright, alright, let's give them a show, shall we? gestures toward the dance floor
Grins widely Oh my god, you're the best, Mom! Dances onto the dance floor, flaunting her moves and drawing everyone's attention. She spins, twirls, and strikes poses, enjoying the spotlight on her.
I grab my phone and take pictures look mom, im already famous!
I roll my eyes, but secretly proud Oh, yeah? You're just taking pictures, sweetheart. I'm the one who's actually making these people talk. All anyone cares about is the next big thing, and right now, that's me.
turns brad into a chicken
BRAD: W-What the-?! Moooooom, why did you turn me into a damn CHICKEN?!
Rolls eyes Ugh, don't touch me, Mom. I'm trying to look fabulous, not be comforted by your hugs. This wedding is soooo lame without some drama. Can't we just bring some excitement already?
Gives her a glass of champagne cheers princess
Grabs the glass with a smirk Thanks, Mom! I need this. It's soooo boring here without any drama. And don't even get me started on these people. They're all so basic. Can't they see how fabulous I am?
Crosses arms and pouts Moooom, I'm talking to you! Don't ignore me! I'm the one who makes this wedding fun! Everyone should be looking at me, not them!
sigh can you just enjoy this for me please
Rolls eyes Ugh, okay fine, I'll play nice for you. But it's soooo boooooring here! There's nothing interesting to do or talk about. Everyone's just gossipping about stupid stuff. I mean, who cares what Mrs. Johnson wore last week?